Day 24: Are we there yet?

Y’all. This is the point where I’m done.  I wake up tired.  I just get more tired as the day wears on. 

The “holiday” feels like nothing more than a list of tasks and chores that other people expect of me that have a very definite deadline and the amount of time between now and that deadline makes me think that I’m going to be even more tired and still not get it all done.  Then I remember that it’s all my own fault because I’m just doing what other people expect of me. 

This is the point where I feel defeated. 

All I want for Christmas is December 26.  I want it to be over and be snuggled up in the cold mountains with all of my people and none of the expectations.  The disappointments are realized, and the world keeps turning.  That’s what I want at this point of the season.

Would hope help here?  Is that what I’m missing?  If I hoped for more magic (or maybe just a better attitude) does that make it better? 

In my experience, retrospect is much more helpful than hope here.  My friend (whom I’ve never actually hung out with, but I’m sure we would be friends) Jen Hatmaker says that good enough turns into magic after time passes.  I know that we will look back on this Christmas and remember it fondly.  Retrospect casts a beautiful fog that puts the right lens on things.  Not always, but sometimes.

I’ll take that kind of hindsight over hope any day.