Day 2: The point

A question I often ask myself these days is this:

what’s the point? 

I don’t mean it in a cynical way. Not all the time, anyway.  I mean it in a curious way.  What is the actual reason?  Why do I need it? Do I need it?  Does it serve a purpose?  How does it fit into my personal life, into my community, into the shared corporate experience of the world?  I ask this question of things, of people, of relationships, and even of ideas.

I started doing this as I was rebuilding my life.  I want things in my life that I want in my life, not things that were assigned to me or things I inherited or things that aren’t valued or appreciated on all sides.  I want to know that they are there and why they are there. I want to be intentional about it. 

I don’t think I was doing asking this question consciously at first, but I was so terrified and hurt that I examined every single thing with a very strong microscope, a very fine filter, a very new lens, and a very hurt brain.  Very, very little passed through.  I believe that love is a choice, and I had chosen strongly but wrongly, and I was not about to let that happen again.

That’s the question that rattles around in my brain the most these days, so that’s what I’ll be pondering in these next few weeks.  What’s the point?